Topics Covered:
- Stepping Away from a 7-Figure-a-year Business
- Recognizing the Signs of Burnout
- Losing Myself in the Process
- Dealing with Mental Health
- Restructuring My Life
Preface:
You’re probably here wondering if you could find your own answers in what follows. I understand that curiosity.
This piece is filled with my personal struggles and challenges. If you read between the lines, hopefully, you’ll find some wisdom that can assist in the decisions you’ve been postponing.
Writing this was challenging, as it required deep reflection during a critical time in my life. Some stories I chose to share, while others, I’m not ready to disclose just yet.
Please, get comfortable. Grab a cup of tea or coffee, and enjoy.
This post is a heartfelt tribute to my sister and closest companion, Markea. I’ve come to realize that you were always imparting in me the bravery to face challenges, even in your absence. You were equipping me for the future, and I continue to sense your presence and the deep love you held for me. I’m grateful for your unwavering support. Your absence leaves a profound void, but my love for you is eternal.
I’ve Made Up My Mind.
I recently listened to a podcast where the guest posed a question: “What would you do if you were going to die this year and if this was your last year here, what would you do to make yourself happy?”
And then I thought.
I’d stop doing everything that I’m currently doing.
This is the second time in a long while I’ve felt this way. I recall, not too long ago, when climbing the corporate ladder, I experienced a similar feeling. Eventually, I left, but only after lingering for five more years. My only regret is not leaving sooner.
Living life by your own rules means making choices despite others’ opinions and tuning into your inner battles, as they only amplify over time.
At the height of my corporate career, earning more money than I or my family had ever seen, I decided to leave.
It was a pivotal decision during a critical period in my life.
Now, at the peak of running a successful business, I feel a similar sensation.
If I don’t address the root cause, this feeling could morph into a recurring demon.
In achieving great feats, I find myself losing control of my life and mental well-being, suffering in silence. I became synonymous with my craft, losing my identity in the process.
I mulled over this decision for the last few years and I knew there would be no other better time than right now.
So, I’ve made the decision and several other difficult decisions over the last few months.
- I stopped searching for a CEO to come be the “ying” to my “yang”. I spent the last few years looking for a CEO to come take over my day-to-day role and run the company. I looked everywhere from Harvard graduates to hungry entrepreneurs. Earlier this year, after failed attempts I pulled the plug on my search.
- I launched my first and last live event at the same time. Having a live event was something I wanted to do, so I had a very successful one and in that process, realized I’d never do another one again.
- I discontinued my live coaching calls and community support.
- I’m retiring my signature program Power Your Launch Marketing Accelerator. — you can purchase access here. (Hurry before it’s gone)
- I scaled down my signature 7 figure business – I scaled down from 10 to 5 to now just 1.
- I packed my bags and moved out of my high rise apartment in Miami and now back on the road.
These decisions were overwhelmingly clear in my spirit but logically, I thought, what does this mean for me?
It wasn’t a matter of losing love for what I do; rather, I realized that I was losing pieces of myself to my work. It’s admirable to dedicate your life to serving others, but it becomes increasingly challenging to replenish your own energy.
When you dedicate your life in service of others, it’s admirable. The challenge of that is filling your own cup up each and everyday begins to get a little more difficult. What was once easy to fill because of the work I was doing, now had no more incremental increase in my own happiness.
It was almost a year ago when I received an email from Vanessa Lau titled “I’m going on sabbatical” and as I read it, I thought: “I’m going on sabbatical too.”
I remember reading it and re-reading it over and over again. It was as if I had left my diary behind that she just picked up and began to read out loud. I thought to myself how could we possibly share the same thoughts, feelings, emotions and words.
At the height of her prowess with thousands if not millions of dollars secured, she decided now was the time to take a sabbatical.
And I thought, in my own instance, maybe I can wait. But then I thought, wait for what?
Here’s the question you should ask yourself, what’s the risk of not doing anything to change your life when it’s no longer recognizable?
For me, the risk was heavy and became greater the longer I pushed the decision to do something about it.
I remember thinking, who cares that I don’t enjoy what I’m doing anymore, at least I’m making money.
The more money I made, the further I removed myself from making a decision.
Sometimes taking a step back, will be the best thing you can do for yourself.
You think the best life can get is today, but that’s not true.
The best is yet to come and you have to believe that where you are right now is just scratching the surface.
Some of my wins over the last few years
- Building an amazing team to help me execute the goals of Power Your Launch Marketing Accelerator, they’ve been instrumental in my success and the companies. Without them, we would not have been able to serve as many people as we have and impacted as many lives as we have. They carried me through most days, while I was looking ahead in to the future, they were building a solid foundation.
- Helping thousands of entrepreneurs make over 100 million in sales collectively since joining our trainings and teachings.
article written by Forbes
Some of my failures over the last few years
- Delegating more. I found myself trying to do everything myself because I knew it would get done right the first time. But in order to grow out of the business, I could’ve done more.
- Firing myself and hiring a CEO. I think from Silicon Valley to tv shows there has been this glamorization being a “CEO” when in fact it’s a lot of hard work. Here’s what I learned about myself when it comes to leadership. I can be a CEO but my talents and skills are better served somewhere else. More specially being a portfolio manager of businesses (or CEOs).
- I learned my strength is in building things that work efficiently, as long as I’m not the CEO for a long period of time, those things can then grow bigger than what I can do.
Here’s why I say that, the longer I am a CEO, the more it not only under utilizes my talents and skills but it loses my interests and focus.
When I began studying all the greats, I noticed that CEO is just a title, it’s not the end all be all. Whether it be Warren Buffet or Bill Gates, they are not the forever CEO’s of their company. They know their best talents are not to be spent managing the day to day of people and things but rather building the future and making sure those people have the skills necessary to be successful.
I was so attached to the title that I should’ve fired myself a long time ago. The only thing being a CEO did for me was a title, there simply was no other benefit. Most of us are holding the business back because we can not see the bigger picture.
If you want to go further, surround yourself with people smarter than you.
What I learned about Burn Out
I remember reading a quote that said “When you are burnt out the remedy is not getting rest. The remedy is restructuring your life.”
Kobe Campbell
I remember feeling burnt out after the first year of my business and that feeling quite honestly, never went away because I didn’t address it.
So, what is burn out?
To me, it’s when you’re doing all the activities and letting all the responsibilities fall on your shoulders while not receiving or delegating the support you need.
Burn out is when even the smallest thing added on your plate FEELS like it weighs the exact same as the biggest thing on your plate.
At this point, you’re past burn out and now you’re over burnt? Maybe toasted? lol
So here’s what happens when you don’t address burn out:
- You begin to hate what you do: This is no exaggeration. That thing you love so much, you can begin to hate. This normally happens because you’ve set no systems, processes, or delegations in place. My biggest feedback is to keep your business simple. The more layers of complexity you add, the further it pulls you away from the joy of it all.
- You begin to hate the things outside of your business: There comes a point where the only thing you talk about is what you dislike in your life. This happened to me back in corporate when I disliked my job so much that others could tell because that’s what I talked most about. On top of that, I carried that energy into everything that I was doing. So I began to dislike things I had no reason to but stemmed from the fact that I was unhappy in a big area in my life.
- You begin to hate parts of yourself: There is nothing wrong with you but when you begin to fail at other parts of your life, it’s easy to make that failure personal. For me, I began to attack myself and it became very clear later on that it wasn’t because I hated myself but I needed someone to blame.
If you’re not in a good mental state and don’t have a high view of yourself, your business will mirror whatever you think is true and not true about you.
Building a Machine
For as long as I can remember, I don’t think I’ve ever taken a break or had time to unplug.
Back in my neighborhood, I was fighting for a better life.
Back in high school, I was staying up all night studying because the only way out was to get a full academic scholarship.
Back in college, I was taking 30-35 credits a semester to graduate in 2 years of schooling.
Back in corporate, I was just trying to prove that I belonged with my peers. At the same time, take on the responsibility as the bread winner in the family, sending money to everyone.
Then, when I began building my business it was late night after late night, after late night.
I began to develop the bad habits that society championed: staying up late, not eating healthy, all the hard work ethic with no self-care.
There were no mental health days.
There were no breaks established.
I would sleep for 3 hours at a time.
I would stay up for 2-3 days at a time.
I would go days without eating.
I was living a very unhealthy lifestyle but that’s what I thought was required to become successful.
It’s crucial to address burnout before it escalates.
I became a machine and then I built a machine and then the machine trapped me inside.
My journey has been relentless, from fighting for a better life in my neighborhood to the late nights building my business.
Moving forward, I know I can’t continue how I started and instead, I have to find a new way to build that’s authentic to me and beneficial for my health.
Taking a Break.
I found myself saying “YES” to everything that was important only to other people, so much so, that I never had the time or bandwidth to hear my own thoughts.
I remember my mentor telling me: “When you have a gift, it’s okay to share it with the world but don’t let the world deplete you of it so much that you begin to hate the power in the gift.”
And to be honest, I find sometimes our gifts can be a blessing and a curse.
My gifts were the reason I was able to make a lot of money, build new relationships, travel around the world and contribute to my family.
And it also was the reason I received 10-15 calls a day asking for money from friends and family, had people come into my life that I thought were genuine relationships, that acted as my friend to get close to me to be able to use the gift.
There’s a sports analogy where the athlete that finally makes it, can also be referred to as the “meal ticket”.
And for the first time, I’m in those same exact shoes and understood the sentiment.
For the first time in my life, I’m starting to understand the difference between calling someone a friend and having a friend.
I’m learning to make decisions for myself that benefit me only even if it’s an unpopular decision to others.
I’m learning other inconveniences are not my priority and that I don’t have to drop everything on my plate to manage someone else’s.
I feel like I owe it to myself to start living for myself and to discover who I am outside of being the machine, building the machine, and working for the machine.
I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone but I’m really looking forward to for the first time to rediscovering myself, who I want to be moving forward, and what type of life that I want to have.
When I return, I’m sure I’ll have a lot to share but until then you can follow along my journey.
If you’ve made it down here 🙂 that means you may have resonated with something I’ve said.
In that scenario, here are several questions that helped me come to the realization something had to change in my life.
Question 1:
What would you do if you were going to die this year and if this was your last year here, what would you do to make yourself happy?
Question 2
What’s the risk of not doing anything to change your life when it’s no longer recognizable?
I hope that you find a lesson in here somewhere and I hope that you take time to think about and reflect upon your own year.
I’m super grateful for all of your support over the years and I hope we continue to follow one another’s journey!
This is not goodbye but more like, see you in a bit. ☺️
Feel free to comment below, I read every comment and love the inputs and perspectives you all provide.
Hey, that’s me. Follow my journey on instagram and twitter.
My Ask: If you have any recommendations on things you’ve done during a transition period that could be beneficial to me, I’d love to hear about it. Whether it be therapy, a trip, a book you’ve read, a podcast you listened to, etc.
Please email me abu@houseoffofanah.com
-Abu
PS: Please note that I won’t be actively managing any of my inboxes during this time. It will be handled by my assistant. While I may not personally respond, please know your words of encouragement and support are whole heartedly received!
Also – I can’t thank my team members enough. After all these years, after all these ups and downs, I can’t even imagine these last few years without you all! You’ve all played such an immense growth in the business and have also taught me so much as a leader.
PPS:
I’ll also be sending you reminder emails about The Power Your Launch Marketing Accelerator sale.
From now until December 31st, you’ll be able to purchase PYL at a massive discount before it retires.
Click here before the offer for PYL expires for good.
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