Have you ever wondered if this is it? If every moment of your life has led you to this point, and yet it hasn’t turned out as you expected? If you’re feeling underwhelmed with where you are in life or a bit lost, keep reading.

This post isn’t about celebrating accomplishments or reaching a destination. It’s about arriving somewhere and feeling disconnected from the joy or fulfillment you thought you’d experience.

You might have done everything right, yet still feel lost and confused. Some days, it seems like nothing you do is right. You feel like you’re wandering off the beaten path, like you’re standing outside yourself, watching a life that feels unfamiliar.

I’m here because I’ve been where you are now. I’ve felt the same way, and I want to share that I see you. I hope I can help you navigate these stages.

I wrote chapters as a manifesto for those feeling unaligned. It doesn’t matter how accomplished or unaccomplished you are, how much you’ve made, or how well-known you’ve become. This is about acknowledging the deep-seated fear that your current life doesn’t align with your true self.

There is a little fear involved in having the courage to be self-aware and recognize that your current life doesn’t match your identity. The goal is to get closer to finding alignment. Even if you don’t know what that looks like today, it’s about staying in motion instead of accepting your current reality.

We should live fearlessly, find joy in each day, and make meaningful contributions to our work, families, communities, and interests. By doing this, we can live happily and fulfill the unique purpose of our lives.

Below are the 5 Chapters of Alignment to help you gain back control over your life

Chapter I: Acknowledgement

You can’t get better if you don’t identify that there’s something inside that’s pulling you away from this current moment. It could be another interest, it could be because you dislike where your life has led, it could be because you see something different for yourself. What matters most is that if you don’t take time to acknowledge what you’re going through, the best it can be is where you are today.

I’m often reminded by the famous Benjamin Franklin quote that goes something like this, “Most men die at 25, we just bury them at 75,” speaks volumes about the way many of us live our lives. It suggests that many people stop truly living and thriving, even though they continue to exist physically.”

When I first heard this quote it was the most profound thing I’d ever read because it resonated deeply with what I was experiencing.

The way I interpreted was that People who focus only on making others happy and end up feeling exhausted and lost often haven’t found what truly makes them happy. They might lose their way and end up living a life full of complaints and dissatisfaction.

There’s such a thing as dying before you’re dead. Having every hope, goal, dream, happiness, etc die inside of you.

My mentor used to tell me, “you can change what you can control and you can’t change what you can’t control and the sooner you realize that then you can begin making small differences that are big differences to you.”

Once you acknowledge, you can begin to change it.

Chapter II: Courage

Understand that any form of change takes a lot of courage. It takes courage to choose yourself and decide that you’re going to live your life differently from now on.

What most people miss about courage is that it’s not about others agreeing with your decision. It’s about you finally listening to yourself and stepping into the confidence to follow through on what’s in your heart, despite what others may think.

Courage is what holds most people back from living a fulfilling life.

I’m often reminded of Nelson Mandela’s words: “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s necessary to begin change.

I remember coming out of college and signing my first offer to work in corporate America. I was going to be paid more than anyone in my family ever had. Everyone was happy for my accomplishment, except for me. I took the job anyway, and for years, I was unhappy—not because I wasn’t grateful for the position, but because I believed it was meant for someone whose dream was to be in that role.

It took a lot of courage for me to leave and bet on myself. When I finally let go, I made room for new opportunities to unfold.

Chapter III: Stillness

You may think you’re ready for the next thing based on your habit to have something constantly going on but you’ll fall into the same trap when you don’t take time to be still.

My mentor once told me, even though the mouse knows it’s a trap it still goes because it still needs to eat cheese.

At all cost you want to avoid the same trap you fell into and in order to do that you have to reprogram your mind and this is going to start with doing nothing at all.

Doing nothing doesn’t mean doing zero but for me it meant journaling all my thoughts down. It meant having the first conversations with myself before having it with others.

There was one sentence I read by Joan Didion, the American writer and journalist and she said it perfectly: “I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means.”

Taking the time to distill in the stillness is part of moving forward and avoiding the trap of constantly repeating the same patterns.

Chapter IV: Discovery

Before taking the next steps, it’s essential to rebuild our identity. You might think you know who you are, but it’s important to consider who you now want to become. Often, we’ve hidden our true selves to fit into past roles.

This phase of discovery is both profound and liberating. It’s the process of shedding societal expectations, the weight of others’ dreams, and the burden of past decisions to uncover your genuine desires and aspirations.

Discovery isn’t solely about finding what makes us happy; it’s about understanding who we truly are. It requires looking within, questioning our motives, and reflecting on our experiences. This introspection often leads to clarity, lifting the fog of confusion and revealing the path we need to take. It’s a journey of self-awareness that demands honesty and courage, helping us align our actions with our core values and true identity.

I recall reading a thought-provoking book called “Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life.” It delves into the concept of Mimetic Desire, explaining why we want what we want and how we pursue those desires.

The author argues that humans don’t desire anything independently. Our desires are mimetic—we imitate what others want. This influences our choices in partners, friends, careers, clothes, and vacation destinations. Mimetic desire shapes our very identities.

So, if we’ve been driven by mimetic desires until now, the important question is: what do you actually want?

Chapter V: Peace

Finding peace starts with discovering who we truly are and aligning our lives with our core values. This brings a deep sense of inner harmony and contentment.

Peace isn’t just the absence of conflict or stress; it’s the calm that comes from knowing we’re on the right path. It empowers us to face challenges with resilience and grace.

To find peace, we must accept that it’s okay to step away from what no longer serves us, even if it’s hard. It takes courage to leave the familiar and venture into the unknown, but this bravery is essential for true peace. Letting go of past expectations and societal pressures opens up space for new opportunities that align with our true selves.

Practicing gratitude and mindfulness also helps in finding peace. By appreciating the present moment and being grateful for what we have, we can cultivate a sense of calm and contentment. Mindfulness keeps us grounded, reducing anxiety about the future and regrets about the past.

Peace is about living in alignment with our values, being true to ourselves, and finding joy in each day. It comes from knowing we are on our unique path and being okay that it’ll look different from others.

The sooner we embrace our unique journey, the sooner we can achieve a more deep fulfilling life.

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That’s all my thoughts for now, see you next time!